Chumlee goes one on one with Un

Sure you knew things couldn’t remind kosher in the ongoing rivalry between Chumlee Russell, star of Pawn Stars and his half brother,  Kim Jong Un, leader of North Korea.  Chumlee while basking in being voted the Smartest Man in the World, got increasingly irritated by Kim’s recent conduct.  First he was jealous that Kim got to blow up a really big bomb recently in North Korea.  Rick usually allows Chumlee only  to occasionally fire off an antique blunderbuss that may explode accidentally.

And now Unster hanging with Dennis Rodman;   who has patronized Pawn Stars pawn shop many a time over the years.  And the nerve of  Dennis; saying he and Kimmy were BFFs and he would try to hook up a game of  PIG with Kim versus President Obama.

v3dennis-rodman-n-korea

Chumlee’s response was bringing on a famous basketball trainer and motivator, Mars Blackmon,  to get Chumlee into pro form and challenge his half brother in a game of one on one for the right to go against Obama in the game of PIG.  Chumlee, being a chess player of the political arena, also hopes that  the defeat of Un   can be uses as a wedge to get another chance at the leadership of  North Korea.   2T2T  Network will, as always,  keep you up to date with the family feud between our little dribblers.

Chum with Mars Blackmon copy

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March 4, 2013. Tags: , , , , . Chumlee vs Kim Jong Un, Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

Chumlee not to be denied, Voted Smartest Man in the World!

As some of you may know, the Onion, ran the article that Kim Jong Un was voted the sexiest man alive.  The Chinese newspaper, People’s Daily, picked this up and now it must be true.

Well this did not sit well with Chumlee (aka Kim Gong Wrong), the once sibling rival of Kim Jong Un.  Found out to not be twin brother to Mr. Un, but rather the bastard step brother, Chumlee  left N. Korea earlier this year under a cloud of shame and defeat in his power struggle for N. Korea’s top spot.  And now this news of  Mr. Un’s new title as the boy toy of the universe.

But sadness was replaced with joy as the announcement broke this week that, World News Weakly’s  monthly magazine, Brain Farts, announced  Chumlee being  voted the Smartest  Person Alive in 2012.  Cited for his study of tattoos that release Omega 3 directly in the body, hence, the enormous increase in Chumlee’s   brain function and curbing his desire for Hostess Ding Dongs ( what timing!);  Chumlee beat out Michelle Bachmann’s Vaccination Theories  and Nancy Pelosi’s Unemployment as Economic Growth Engine research to take the top spot.

Chumlee,seen sporting a new ‘do since the announcement was made, was quoted as saying  somewhat cryptically that “E!News equals MC Hammer is a square , dude. ”  Wow he is really … ah … something…

Chumleestein

December 18, 2012. Chumlee vs Kim Jong Un. Leave a comment.

The Un-derful world of Disney ?

Just when we thought Chumlee was a non-factor in N. Korean politics, our sharp eyed sources caught not only the un-authorized version of Disney characters performing for the Un Leader (Kim Jong Un), but a Genie who looked a very similar to Kim Jong Un’s sibling rival  Chumlee.  Independent sources said the head of the costume  genie was switched just before the performance began with a head of the cult figure Chumlee of Pawn Star fame.  Proof come in this photo taken at the recent event.

Unfortunately we have no idea what chararter the green dude is, but rumor had it as a poor reproduction of Pluto with food poisoning.

July 19, 2012. Tags: , , , . Chumlee vs Kim Jong Un, Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

North Korea power struggle update: Chumlee comes Home

As last reported only here at 2teanot2tea (2T2T) network Chumlee, aka Kim Gong Wrong, Kim Bong Chum-Lee, the Chum Master, Austin Russell had returned to his place of birth (or so it was thought,  see below) to fight for control of North Korea leadership with his supposed twin Kim Jong Un, subsequent to the passing of their father, Kim Jong Il.

Our inside sources in the NK capital of Pyongyang said things seemed good at the state funeral of Jong Il  where Chumlee was photographed with his brother and other top leaders. Seen below sporting a chic Tennessee Tuxedo.

And even more shocking was to see chumlee’s large image during the funeral procession normally where Kim Jong Il’s protrait would be displayed

But soon the rise of Chumlee to North Korea’s top post was crushed by the  revelation that he was not the twin to Kim Jong Un.  DNA testing showed while indeed Kim Jong Il was the father,  his mother was a hooker in Las Vegas, Roxy Rackks Russell.  Roxy met Mr. Il on a chance encounter during Mr. Il’s youth as he toured the US and indulged in his love of playing the sports book and enjoying woman of the evening.

2T2T learned from insiders that never before this leadership crisis had Chumlee ever been in North Korea and his claim to any leadership position was null and void.  Picture of Roxy is below

When presented with this evidence Chumlee quickly packed up and headed for the next flight to the US.   When his growing mass of followers heard of this development, near rioting and public mourning was common place.

Shown to the right is group of his younger fans, that were known as the Wannabe Chumlees.  They were devastated.

But many adults, were grief-stricken as well:

Oh what might have been… So what is Chumlee doing now?

Well he is back at the Pawn Stars shop where is showing the gang a souvenior from his trip.

We were told Rick Harris asked Chum what he bought while over in North Korea and Chumlee said it was a dual action North Korean assault rifle.  Whereupon the Old Man was  over heard to say, ‘Chumlee you no good bleeping dumb bleep!’

January 19, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Chumlee vs Kim Jong Un, Party Jokes. 1 comment.

Possible Power Struggle in N. Korea Revealed

My sources have picked  up an internal struggle for power between Kim Jong Un and a previously unknown sibling; not even just a sibling but a twin brother.  Kim Gong Wrong also known as Chumlee has left Pawn Stars and is now speeding to Pyongyang, North Korea’s capital.  Little is known about the Un, but too much is known about Chumlee.

The Un-Leader

  Versus

                                       Chumlee

Chumlee, also known as,  Chum  or his supposed birth name, Austin Russell; is one of , if not thee, star of Pawn Stars on the History channel.  But now it is known he has been playing us for fools, disguising his past and only now revealing his true identity.  I would advise Mr. Un to not underestimate the wily prowess  of Chumlee.  Known for the shrewd deal making and his love for Japanese warrior culture, see photo below, Chumlee will make a formidable opponent to the top spot in North Korea.  In fact there is already posters of Chumlee appearing in public areas and the cult of personality has begun.  Suspicions are Pawn Stars has been shown on non authorized cable pickups for years unbeknownst to Un’s inner circle, also know as The Secwet Council of  the Wing Awound the Wosey.

As Chumlee left Las Vegas for N. Korea his last words were ” I will make them a deal they could perhaps refuse.”  Spoken like a future tyrant for sure.

This is a developing story and we will keep you posted as we get more news.

December 21, 2011. Tags: , , , , . Chumlee vs Kim Jong Un, Party Jokes. Leave a comment.