2013 Obama Carol : Obamacare Smells

Obamacare smells

 

 

 

 

 

Obamacare Smells

 (Almost to the tune of Silver Bells)

US healthcare, Lousy Healthcare

Pass the bill to see what a’waits

You knew it

Was too good to be true.

Democrats laughing

President fibbing

Telling lie after lie

From every stump speech he would say:

Like your plan, keep your plan

Redistribution time in the Country

U Ding-a-ling, Don’t know a thing

Soon it will be judgment day                                                         

 

See your premiums soar

Now you know the score

This was always his dream

And Above all the screams you’ll hear:

Like your plan, keep your plan

Redistribution time in the Country

U Ding-a-ling, Don’t know a thing

Soon it will be judgment day  

 

Obama Carol #5

December 6, 2013

Copyright 2013 Larry Donnelly                                                      

December 6, 2013. Obamas Carols, Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

VMA stars score new shows of their own.

The never resting 2t2t  Network has learned that Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke,  the soft porn stars of the 2013 VMA  show,  have both been green-lighted to star in their own reality series. 

The Disney XXX channel, a new cable channel coming soon to cable network near you has announced Miley will start in her adult version of her former Disney show Hannah Montana.  Her new show, Handda Jobba will focus on talents Miley shares with her swelling fan base.  Shows on twerking, hand jerking, smerking and lurking and all kinds of intellectual talents of Miley will be on display on upcoming episodes.

Miley or  Handa Jobtana copy

Robin Thicke will star as a roaming gigolo in his series ” My Icky Sticky Dick”.  Robin roams the world unleashing his massive thrusting pulsating oozing Johnson upon former Disney child stars. Most will be female.  At the time of this article, Robin was in negotiations with Hilary Duff  to star in the first episode tentatively titled Duff Diving.   Also rumors  have it Robin will collaborate with Billy Ray Cyrus of  Achy Breaky Heart to score the theme song for the show.

My itcky sticky Thicke copy

August 29, 2013. Tags: , , , , , . Party Jokes, Pop goes the culture. Leave a comment.

A Beltway Hillbilly meets Sheriff Joe and a special inmate

Its been a spell since we last seen our favorite bunch of hillbillies,  The Beltway Hillbillies,  lead by family patriarch Mitch Dumbasset,  his nephew Jonthro Boner the house menace., Granny Annie Coulter the deranged shotgun-packing crazy woman, Kelly Mae Ayotte-Dumbasset, the shapely,  but not seemingly too bright daughter of Mitch, along with their foals in DC,  Scary Drysreid, Nanny Giveaway and Mr. Big among others.  This episode of our favorite DC hayseeds has Jonthro Boner going to Arizona to see if Sheriff Joe will give Jonthro a quick lesson in sheriffing and make Jonthro an authorized lawmen like that of Matt Dillon, Bat Masterson or Barney Fife.

Scene:  Sheriff Joe’s jailhouse in Arizona

Sheriff Joe

Jonthro Boner (JB):  Howdy pardner Joe, it sure is swell you giving me some o’ time to visit your post here on the frontier and giving me some tips on sheriffing.

Sheriff Joe (SJ): Well actually I sent you an email saying I had to cancel, just so busy trying to defeat that darn gang of Ocho.

JB:  Well I don’t like email or any of them modern do-hickey things the kids do.  So here I am, give me some of yo’ bestest tips Big Joe.  Maybe firing some weapons down on the range, near that home on the range, where the buffalo…

SJ:  Cut the crap there Jonthro, before we do anything I gotta ask you what in the name of tarnation you idiots doing in DC?   You gonna let old Beaner Ohbaja pass that Gawd awful immigration deform bill.

Jonthro Boner Cowboy wannabe

JB: Well I ain’t been paying too close attention to that bill, or Benghazi or IRS scandals.  This tan doesn’t come without a cost.  So where is my official HLS badge?

SJ:  Boner, I have just about had it with you RINOs, I ran the Marco Kid out of town just a few weeks back.   And I ain’t Homeland Security you in-bred moron.

JB:  Hey, I just  got some magic mushrooms from Lucky Schroomer and I think my noggin well be better soon after I take of few of those, whoa, can I go in the squad car and make the siren go wu wu!

SJ:  No, Jonthro, though that would be niffy fun. I got a better idea.  I need a guard for our holding cell and that would give you some official lawman creed.   You know mingle with real life prisoners and then maybe I will let you see my silver six shooters.

JB: Oh boy, you are cool dude.

SJ:  The coolest man, so come over here… Hey Carlos take a break from the internet  and meet your new guard, Jonthro Boner.

Carlos Danger (CD):  Boner….what a stupid last name.  Ho ho ho.  What are you the missing link or something Dumthro?

Carlos Danger (Tony de Weiner)

JB:  Please sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me cry like a broken water main.

CD:  Hey no hard feelings, do you like hard feelings by the way.. oh never mind.  Are you hungry Jonny boy?   Wanna bite of my weiner?

JB:  No more of a Possum-ball man myself.  So what you in here for Carlos?

CD:  Busted for impersonating a human…. geez did youse every hear such a thing?   I am all man I can assure you and I got many witnesses who would be more than happy to come forward with photographic evidence.  Pssst, I gotta bust outta here soon, can you be a pal and help me out?

JB:  Well Carlos, I may be a dreamer, but I don’t think I can do something like that and still get my official lawman badge and decoder ring.  Why you need to get out here anyway?

CD:  I gotta catch the 3:10 to Huma.  Get it … my wife’s name is Huma… jeez you are a moron.

JB:  Burp.  Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

July 26, 2013. Tags: , , , , , . Party Jokes, The Beltway Hillbillies, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

I knew it all along, Ernie doing Bert

I guess it’s offiical that Bert and Ernie are a gay couple, I mean if you are on the cover of the New Yorker  it has to be true?   I wrote these lyrics in 2005 more as a slam on Homeland Security but Bert and Ernie being gay got thrown it as well,  so I guess I was ahead of the curve.  Kinda ironic that the song lyrics were about someone trying to avoid marriage as much as possible, but its a very moronic… er .. .ironic world isn’t it?  Doubly ironic that the NSA/Snowden and Gay Marriage are the two biggest topics eight years later…. Nosterdumbass that’s me…. pass me the rubber duckie my conehead buddy… myah.

bert-and-ernie

 

HIGH ALERT

 

I got caught off guard
Happened in my own backyard
My borders were exposed
The lights on, but doors not closed
 
I was only a couple of dates
Just friends, not soul mates
I guess you took it as fate
Dropping a bomb in a moving crate
 
Bridge
It was a simple life
No thoughts of adding a wife
But there you were
Standing at my door
Suitcases in hand
I was done for
 
Chorus
My Homeland
With no Defense
Nothing common
Makes no sense
You got me living
On High Alert
On High Alert, High, High oh High Alert
Ain’t been this shook
Since I learned Ernie was doing Bert
Oh High Alert, High-High-high Alert
Lying low and
Living on High Alert
 
 
Say you want commitment
To me you’re an enemy combatant
Find someone else to terrorize
All I can offer is my goodbyes
 
My shades are drawn
Got cameras sweeping the lawn
I got your phone tapped
I’m safe, still I feel trapped
 
I had a simple life
Now filled with strife
My doors are locked
My driveway blocked
And living on
High Alert
 
Chorus
My Homeland
With no Defense
Nothing common
Makes no sense
You got me living
On High Alert
On High Alert, High, High oh High Alert
Ain’t been this shook
Since I learned Ernie was doing Bert
Oh High Alert, High-High-high Alert
Lying low and
Living on High Alert
 
I’m on my guard
I’m on patrol
Watching my back
Fearing another attack
 
I learned my lesson
Beware of whom you flirt
Next thing you know
You’ll be on high alert
 
Chorus
My Homeland
With no Defense
Nothing common
Makes no sense
You got me living
On High Alert
On High Alert, High, High oh High Alert
Ain’t been this shook
Since I learned Ernie was doing Bert
Oh High Alert, High-High-high Alert
Lying low and
Living on High Alert
  

Copyright 2005 ©  Larry Donnelly

April 2005 Lorenzo Donnelli Musix

July 2, 2013. Tags: . Party Jokes, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Now this took Courage.

Hi there I’m Jason Collins your gay go-to center guy and thanks for the outpouring of support and encouragement for revealing that I am gay in my sexual orientation.  But that was really just part one of my announcement.  I am also into gender neutrality and cross-dressing and so I am changing my professional name to Jalissa Collins and joining the WNBA.  I know you are saying ‘why leave the NBA  Jalissa?‘ and I say have you seen my playing time stats lately girlfriend,  uh-huh.  I been riding the bench like Ice-T use to ride Coco, if you like that kind of sex I mean.  I know that sweetheart David Stern said I have a place somewhere in the NBA, but now David honey, I got to let my inner diva out and ball up  on these pathetic excuses of basketball players.  Watch out Brittney Griner, I am going to be rejecting you like a Donald Trump apprentice.  You’re fired sister or is it mister, who cares we’re all the same, gender neutrality for everyone.

Now my biggest decision is do I go with a Valentino or Oscar de la Renta evening dress?   And do you think my hair color clashes with my bracelet? Decisions, decisions.

Jalissa Collins

May 2, 2013. Tags: , , , . Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

The Marco Kid and the Gang of Ocho

Sheriff Joe out thar in the backcountry of Airerozona, picked up one of them mean hombres from the notorious gang of Ocho.  Senor Markie Rubio aka The Marco Kid was caught wandering in the high desert disorientated and parched.  We  now listen into the law of the Old West Sheriff Joe as he works over the Marco Kid to see what happened to a good guy who has gone south (of the border).The Risko Kid

Sheriff Jose er Joe (SJ):   Well, well if it ain’t  the Marco Kid. All I can say what a shame, I thought you were one of good guys.

The Marko Kid (MK):  No senor, you have it all wrong. I am a bueno hombre.   I love Lucy and America and undocumented peoples of all color, creed and especially those that watch Univision.  By the way senor lawman may I bother you for a sip of some high quality H2O?

SJ:  All in good time Marco, all in good time.  So what is this bill you and your gang is pushing down the equally parched throats of the American people.  Last time I heard you were going to guard the border first,  and now  its all open borders for all.   You remind me of another of your gang.  Senor Juan ‘Gollum ‘ McPrecious or is he going now under the alias Sergeant Farter?  Wily old fox Gollum, he said he would build the fence on our border, but he got distracted when he got reelected some time back.

Dos Amigos Gollum McPrecious and Homer Pile aka Limpy Graham-Cracker

MK:  Si, he likes to hang around with his good buddy Homer Pile  and plot new wars when they are not reforming immigration and leading us in Mexican jazz favorites.  He is also known as Limpy Graham-Cracker.  They didn’t talk to me hardly at all,  don’t seem to like me much;  you know I think they are  having a bromance or something.

SJ:  Who you calling a cracker,  boy?

MK:  Oh no no senor, that Limpy’s last name… Graham-Cracker.

SJ:  I guess we only knew him as Homer, geez what a limp wrist moron,… anyway so tell me Kid who got to you, who messed with your mind?  Must  have been a master of psychology and persuasion.  Listen up thirsty, I want names … and a icy cold bottle of aqua is all yours.

MK:  Really?  Water… por favor senor.

SJ:  I need a name Marko  and it better not be Hey Culligan man. (Sheriff Joe takes a long slug of cold water and lets a refreshing ahhhhhhhhhhh resound when he is finished.)

MK:  You are a hard man Sheriff Joe, and cruel and not really much to look at… (Sheriff Joe backhand slaps Marko’s face at this point) ….

SJ:  You won’t be much to look at either if I don’t get a name, and I mean soon.

MK:  Ok, Okay it’s Luckie Shroomer the Peyote Punk. (Marko starts to sniffle and blurst out)…. Luckie would never let up.  Path to citizenship, dream act, rule of Law is for the little people, bring them out of the shadows,  they do the work gringos won’t, Republicans need a big tent and eat at Taco Bell more often….

Luckie Shroomer The Peyote Punk

SJ: Enough Kid, you’re delirious (Sheriff Joe throws a pitcher of water in Marko’s face).  Deputy get this piece of armadillo scat a bottle of water.  So the Shroomer,…. I feel for you Kid, I really do,  he is a manipulator of the first order.

MK:  Sniff, you don’t the half the story, he would just talk and talk and arm twist and talk, blah blah blah….  I just gave up.  Help me.

SJ:  There, there Marko I think you been hit by heat stroke, dehydration and flashbacks from some bad Shrooms… or Shroomer that is.  Take some time and get some rest and a few weeks with one of our inmate labor crews and you will feel alot less like a RINO than you do now.  And we’ll won’t rest until we catch that evil Luckie and maybe then we can get enough information to go after the ring leader.

MK: Who is that Senor Joe?

SJ:  Beaner Ohbaja… the one born in Kenya and now rules the land with his lawless abandon.  The one who spit in my face and said, Birth certificates, I don’t need no stinking birth certificate.   The one who says he is the one.   He chaps my hide.

Beaner Ohbaja

MK:  Pardon me Joe, this water is great but do you have any chips and salsa?

April 25, 2013. Party Jokes, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Wow Late Night Hosts really do make fun of the President (Current One).

In a prior rant I lamented how it seems comedians just can’t leave the Bush era behind.  I guess because Obama just isn’t funny material,  but lo and behold I saw  a collection of late night jokes that Investors Business Daily collates and indeed the gloves have come off and by God most of the jokes are pretty good, here some of my favs:

Fallon: The president in a little trouble. During a fundraiser yesterday, President Obama raised eyebrows when he called California’s Kamala Harris quote “the best-looking attorney general in the country.” Then Michelle was like, “Well, here’s another joke, what’s black and white and sleeps on the couch?”

Fallon: Obama called Kamala Harris the best looking attorney general while at a California fundraiser. Hopefully, the fundraiser was to buy a really nice necklace for Michelle.

Leno: Obama apologizes to Joe Biden for saying California’s Attorney General Kamala Harris is so pretty. It’s Joe’s job to say the stupid, embarrassing stuff in public.

Leno: AP, the world’s largest news-gathering organization, bans the term “illegal immigrant.” From now on AP will call them “undocumented Democrats.”

Fallon: President Obama announced a $100-million initiative to map the human brain. Joe Biden said, “You could map mine for a lot less.”

Fallon: President Obama shot hoops yesterday and went two for 22. Tough times. One minute he asks Congress to raise the debt limit. The next he’s asking to lower the hoop.
Read More At Investor’s Business Daily: http://news.investors.com/politics-andrew-malcolm/040813-650970-kamala-harris-obama-sexist-joe-biden-north-korea.htm#ixzz2Q5BA1fBm
Follow us: @IBDinvestors on Twitter | InvestorsBusinessDaily on Facebook

April 10, 2013. I Approve this message, Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

Golly it’s Homer Pile and Sgt Farter, Again and again, and again, and again and….

Well lookie there its those two crazy characters who seem to be on TV as much as Michelle Obama, maybe there is a secret competition going on who will get the most airtime.   Yep I speak of those two inseparable characters Homer Pile and Sgt. Farter.  Here is an excerpt from a recent pep talk Sgt. Farter was giving to hapless Homer.
 

Sgt. Farter (SF):   Homer you numb nuts, I need you to get out there and steamroll that Rand character until he is flatter than Hilary Swank’s chest in Boys don’t Cry.

Homer Pile (HP):  Golly Sarg, Rand seems like a right good ol’ boy to me, kinda cute even.

SF:  Listen faggot,… er… I mean maggot, he’s a young upstart trying to banish that Constitution around like some Tea Party Radical hairy toed hobbit loving mother fucking,….

HP:  For shame, for shame Sergeant, you said a bad word, golly my ears are burning.

SF:  Listen mama boy, do as I say or I will stick  my rifle up your ass until I tickle your tonsils.

HP:  Yes sir Sergeant Farter, I love when you talk that way to me…. it reminds me when we had that encounter in the latrine… surprise,surprise.

SF:  Pile you’re dumber than a box of bricks, so just read what I tell you on that little piece of paper, where it says Rand Paul sucks, can you do that for me private?!

HP:  Oh yes sir, I read real gooder and Homer is ready to take your abuse anytime, anywhere… Gooolllllleeeeee

Homer Pyle and Sgt Farter copy

March 9, 2013. Tags: , , . Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

Chumlee goes one on one with Un

Sure you knew things couldn’t remind kosher in the ongoing rivalry between Chumlee Russell, star of Pawn Stars and his half brother,  Kim Jong Un, leader of North Korea.  Chumlee while basking in being voted the Smartest Man in the World, got increasingly irritated by Kim’s recent conduct.  First he was jealous that Kim got to blow up a really big bomb recently in North Korea.  Rick usually allows Chumlee only  to occasionally fire off an antique blunderbuss that may explode accidentally.

And now Unster hanging with Dennis Rodman;   who has patronized Pawn Stars pawn shop many a time over the years.  And the nerve of  Dennis; saying he and Kimmy were BFFs and he would try to hook up a game of  PIG with Kim versus President Obama.

v3dennis-rodman-n-korea

Chumlee’s response was bringing on a famous basketball trainer and motivator, Mars Blackmon,  to get Chumlee into pro form and challenge his half brother in a game of one on one for the right to go against Obama in the game of PIG.  Chumlee, being a chess player of the political arena, also hopes that  the defeat of Un   can be uses as a wedge to get another chance at the leadership of  North Korea.   2T2T  Network will, as always,  keep you up to date with the family feud between our little dribblers.

Chum with Mars Blackmon copy

March 4, 2013. Tags: , , , , . Chumlee vs Kim Jong Un, Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

Secret Photos: Tiger shows Pres Obama how to really swing

The 2t2t Network come across this exclusive photo of President Obama and Tiger Woods hitting the town last week during his highly secretive golf getaway.  No it wasn’t all fairway time for our power pair.  They were looking for a whole new twosome to join them in the evening as well.  After a hour of private lessons and dressing tips, Tiger took President Obama to the exclusive Boogie Nights club where the two tore up the dance floor and rumor has it, had some foxy females on their bulging biceps when they left after shut down the club.  Get down, and yes they did.  I guess it brings a whole new meaning to shouting FORE … play. Hey, they’re  just two wild and crazy guys.

Tiger teachs Barry how to really Swing

February 24, 2013. Tags: , , . Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

Next Page »