The Marco Kid and the Gang of Ocho

Sheriff Joe out thar in the backcountry of Airerozona, picked up one of them mean hombres from the notorious gang of Ocho.  Senor Markie Rubio aka The Marco Kid was caught wandering in the high desert disorientated and parched.  We  now listen into the law of the Old West Sheriff Joe as he works over the Marco Kid to see what happened to a good guy who has gone south (of the border).The Risko Kid

Sheriff Jose er Joe (SJ):   Well, well if it ain’t  the Marco Kid. All I can say what a shame, I thought you were one of good guys.

The Marko Kid (MK):  No senor, you have it all wrong. I am a bueno hombre.   I love Lucy and America and undocumented peoples of all color, creed and especially those that watch Univision.  By the way senor lawman may I bother you for a sip of some high quality H2O?

SJ:  All in good time Marco, all in good time.  So what is this bill you and your gang is pushing down the equally parched throats of the American people.  Last time I heard you were going to guard the border first,  and now  its all open borders for all.   You remind me of another of your gang.  Senor Juan ‘Gollum ‘ McPrecious or is he going now under the alias Sergeant Farter?  Wily old fox Gollum, he said he would build the fence on our border, but he got distracted when he got reelected some time back.

Dos Amigos Gollum McPrecious and Homer Pile aka Limpy Graham-Cracker

MK:  Si, he likes to hang around with his good buddy Homer Pile  and plot new wars when they are not reforming immigration and leading us in Mexican jazz favorites.  He is also known as Limpy Graham-Cracker.  They didn’t talk to me hardly at all,  don’t seem to like me much;  you know I think they are  having a bromance or something.

SJ:  Who you calling a cracker,  boy?

MK:  Oh no no senor, that Limpy’s last name… Graham-Cracker.

SJ:  I guess we only knew him as Homer, geez what a limp wrist moron,… anyway so tell me Kid who got to you, who messed with your mind?  Must  have been a master of psychology and persuasion.  Listen up thirsty, I want names … and a icy cold bottle of aqua is all yours.

MK:  Really?  Water… por favor senor.

SJ:  I need a name Marko  and it better not be Hey Culligan man. (Sheriff Joe takes a long slug of cold water and lets a refreshing ahhhhhhhhhhh resound when he is finished.)

MK:  You are a hard man Sheriff Joe, and cruel and not really much to look at… (Sheriff Joe backhand slaps Marko’s face at this point) ….

SJ:  You won’t be much to look at either if I don’t get a name, and I mean soon.

MK:  Ok, Okay it’s Luckie Shroomer the Peyote Punk. (Marko starts to sniffle and blurst out)…. Luckie would never let up.  Path to citizenship, dream act, rule of Law is for the little people, bring them out of the shadows,  they do the work gringos won’t, Republicans need a big tent and eat at Taco Bell more often….

Luckie Shroomer The Peyote Punk

SJ: Enough Kid, you’re delirious (Sheriff Joe throws a pitcher of water in Marko’s face).  Deputy get this piece of armadillo scat a bottle of water.  So the Shroomer,…. I feel for you Kid, I really do,  he is a manipulator of the first order.

MK:  Sniff, you don’t the half the story, he would just talk and talk and arm twist and talk, blah blah blah….  I just gave up.  Help me.

SJ:  There, there Marko I think you been hit by heat stroke, dehydration and flashbacks from some bad Shrooms… or Shroomer that is.  Take some time and get some rest and a few weeks with one of our inmate labor crews and you will feel alot less like a RINO than you do now.  And we’ll won’t rest until we catch that evil Luckie and maybe then we can get enough information to go after the ring leader.

MK: Who is that Senor Joe?

SJ:  Beaner Ohbaja… the one born in Kenya and now rules the land with his lawless abandon.  The one who spit in my face and said, Birth certificates, I don’t need no stinking birth certificate.   The one who says he is the one.   He chaps my hide.

Beaner Ohbaja

MK:  Pardon me Joe, this water is great but do you have any chips and salsa?


April 25, 2013. Party Jokes, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Wow Late Night Hosts really do make fun of the President (Current One).

In a prior rant I lamented how it seems comedians just can’t leave the Bush era behind.  I guess because Obama just isn’t funny material,  but lo and behold I saw  a collection of late night jokes that Investors Business Daily collates and indeed the gloves have come off and by God most of the jokes are pretty good, here some of my favs:

Fallon: The president in a little trouble. During a fundraiser yesterday, President Obama raised eyebrows when he called California’s Kamala Harris quote “the best-looking attorney general in the country.” Then Michelle was like, “Well, here’s another joke, what’s black and white and sleeps on the couch?”

Fallon: Obama called Kamala Harris the best looking attorney general while at a California fundraiser. Hopefully, the fundraiser was to buy a really nice necklace for Michelle.

Leno: Obama apologizes to Joe Biden for saying California’s Attorney General Kamala Harris is so pretty. It’s Joe’s job to say the stupid, embarrassing stuff in public.

Leno: AP, the world’s largest news-gathering organization, bans the term “illegal immigrant.” From now on AP will call them “undocumented Democrats.”

Fallon: President Obama announced a $100-million initiative to map the human brain. Joe Biden said, “You could map mine for a lot less.”

Fallon: President Obama shot hoops yesterday and went two for 22. Tough times. One minute he asks Congress to raise the debt limit. The next he’s asking to lower the hoop.
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April 10, 2013. I Approve this message, Party Jokes. Leave a comment.