The Beltway Hillbillies, Jonthro Crashes and Burns, The Bank rejoices

During our last episode, the Beltway Hillbillies were heading towards the Fiscal Cliff.  Pork Banker Scary Drysreed and his assistant, Nanny Giveaway, decided to let them go ahead and drive off the Cliff, but word got back to Chairman of the Board, Mr. Big One and he hurried back with his best negotiation skills to solve the potential crisis.

Just as the Cliff  loomed ahead, Jonthro Boner, Speaker of the House of Cards, and nephew to Dumbasset patriarch Mitch Dumbasset, took a corner too fast as he took his eyes off the road and mentally undressed a pretty bill of goods called Sandy Relief.  He claimed he was tired and just needed to get past this crazy desire to drive off the Fiscal Cliff.  He was last seen staggering back towards the Federal Tax and Redistribution Bank and reports had him muttering about Mr. Drysreed reproducing with himself.

old car accident

Mr. Big O'Bamya, Nanny Gaveway, and Scary Drysreed

At the FTR Bank, Mr. Big One, Chairman of the Board returns from his Hawaiian vacation to chat up their victory of more revenue and MORE AND MORE REDISTRIBUTION AND SPENDING LIKE DRUNK SAILORS!!!

Mr. Big One: (BO)   Jeez guys I guess coming back to cut the power steering line to The Dumbassets ol’ japoly was worth it.

Nanny Giveaway (NG):  Oh Mr. Big you are a negotiating machine and so strong and clean and spend like a Coon, ahem …. I meant Tycoon… right Chief?

Scary Drysreed (SD): Shutup you nitwit Nanny, it was all her idea Mr. Big not to call you.  I wanted to call you, but she said no I planted the idea of Plan B with Boner and he will pull a Boner and drive off the cliff…

BO:  Enough you two, enough about you, lets talk about me … I am great, I won, I cut the steering thingy and I won this all by my lonesome, you morons are around just to say stupid things and keep my office guarded during my golf excursions.  Now I have to talk up our victory of tax relief with my poor friends in Hollyweird, while those rich evil doers elsewhere will pay their fair share. And oh yes I must  return to gazing at my incredibly beautiful facial structure on a shaded Hawaiian beach. Ciao you idiots.

SC:  Good going you dumb slut Nanny, this was my deal to win!

NG:  Chief, to paraphrase the words of Jonthro Boner, Go and make love to thyself… you old fart.

SC:  If this was the sixties, I would … geez… please don’t look at me, those eyes… you’re melting my money belt.


January 3, 2013. Party Jokes, The Beltway Hillbillies.

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