Past Obama Carols not previously posted here.

2008 – The Night before Obamas

Well not really a Carol, but it based on an iconic Christmas poem.

The Night before Obama

A partisan parody of The Night before Christmas by Larry Donnelly, Christmas 2008

“Twas the night before Obama, when all through the ‘hood

Not a voter was stirring, better knock on some wood

The wonders were sung by the media with care,

In hopes that The One soon would be there;

Congress was settled all smug in their federally funded beds

While visions of ear-marks being passed in their heads

But Joe and Sarah Six Pack and their many sons

Still clung to religion and bought some more guns

When out of the heartland there arose such a clatter

A Gov named Blagojveich suddenly matter’d

Trying so hard to make a big splash

Threw out the rules and asked for some cash

The freshness of Barack like the new-fallen snow

Lost some of its luster, almost like us mortals below

When what to our wondering eyes should appear

But another billion dollar bailout to smooth over our fears

With a new cabinet, much smarter and less thick

And with a vice president not named Dick

More rapid than Blackberries, the believers they came,

And He interviewed and vetted and called them by name;

Now, Dashel, Now Biden, now Michelle you damn Vixen!

On Rahm, On Gates, and you’re kidding, Ms. Clinton?!

To the top of the mountain, this (bleep’s) off the wall!

Now work away!  Work away!  Work away all!

Who would have thunk it, as if pigs (with lipstick) could fly

But there he was, a Savior from up on high

So on to Washington his angels did flew

With hope and change and Oprah came too

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the news

All the new programs and policies starting to ooze

As I sat at my table to write the big check

I heard a knock just off my back deck

There He was in splendor, from his head to his toes

“I’m here to redistribute – have some from Plumber Joe”

A bundle of goodies he flung off his back

Heck, he admitted, he secretly cheered for the Pack

(editors note: The Packers, I’m a unreformed Cheesehead)

His ears – how they wiggled, his speech oh so merry

His words were like roses, he even said “Call me Barry!”

He was a good dancer and jived like a bro

He could shoot a three pointer, as smooth as a pro

An unlit heater he held tight in his teeth

“I’d smoke it, but Brokaw would give me such grief.”

He had a thin face and had hardly a belly,

He was smooth and slick like petroleum jelly.  

He was clever and a right smart old egg

I have to admit, it sent a thrill up my leg

In a blink of a eye and a twist of my arm

Soon I had to confess I had no cause for alarm

   He said he protect me, make sure I’d find work

As he laid out all his promises, I felt a tear jerk

And laying a hand up on my shoulder

He assured me, that he’d make the climate much colder

He sprang for his hybrid, he gave a shout out

“Come on dude, did you really have any doubt?”

I heard one last thing, ere he drove out of sight

“Happy Seasonal Greetings to all and you all better hope I get this thing right!”

 

Merry Christmas and good night.

 

2009:THE TWELVE MONTHS OF OBAMAS

CHRISTMAS 2009 CAROL

On the first month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

A stimulus bill, indeedee

 

On the second month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

Two Car companies (Have you boughten a Ford lately)

 

On the third month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

Three Bizarre Czars (and about 45 more we have serious questions about)

 

On the fourth month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

Four Blame the Bushies (well at least 4 a week but we don’t have that many months)

 

On the fifth month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

Five Biden Gaffs (that stimulus plan is working just as we expected, anybody seen my meds?)
On the sixth month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

Six Dictators A-bowing to (how low can he go?)
On the seventh month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

Seven jobs created or a-saving (give or take a job, its tough to figure those fake congressional districts in)
On the eighth month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

Eight Acorn offices-Pimping (hey voter fraud is no biggie, but start advising on child prostitution then damn we get angry)
On the ninth month of Obamas,
The One sent to me

Nine Judges A-ruling (1 Wise Latino woman, 1 Uncle Tom Black, 1 Wise but ailing Jewish woman, 6 crackers who don’t know nuttin’ except the liberal ones who still ain’t no way as wise as that Latino gal, though they aren’t as stupid as the New Haven police, now that’s pretty stupid , but please don’t get me wrong about those police, remember I had a beer with that one, they  ain’t nearly as stupid as that gun and religion clinger  Palin, I mean she is the poster child for Stupid, Ok so she sold some books but she ain’t no Latino wise gal that’s for sure, bet she can’t even salsa mmm mmm mmm; for those of you scoring at home)

 

On the tenth month of Obamas,
The One sent to me
Ten Caps A-Trading  (I would gladly trade my White Soxs for a Nationals or vintage Senators)

 

On the eleventh month of Obamas,
The One sent to me
Eleven taxpayers teabagging (not sure exactly what teabagging is, … I        mean, ahem, lets move on to…)

 

On the twelfth month of Obamas,
The One sent to me
Twelve Trillion Debt Financing

Eleven Taxpayers Teabagging

Ten Caps A-Trading

Nine Judges A-Ruling

Eight Acorn offices A-pimping

Seven Jobs Created or A-saving

Six Dictators A-bowing (to)

Five Biden Gaffs

Four Blame the Bushies

Three Bizarre Czars

Two Car Companies

And a Stimulus Bill, indeedee!!

 

2010:  The First Shellack

(To the tune of The First Noel)

The first shellack,  the voters gave say

Was to clueless house members in districts they betray

In districts they betray ignoring the folk,

On a Tuesday in November that was no joke

Shell Lack, Shell Whack, Shell Lack, Shell Whack

In 2012 he’s not coming back.

 

And by the result of that same vote,

Nancy lost her gig, but she’s still afloat

“I ain’t to blame, I’ll lead ‘til we win

More Botox please, to keep my stupid grin”

Shell Lack, Shell Whack, Shell Lack, Shell Whack

In 2012 he’s not coming back.

By the dawn of the very next day

Obama said, “To India I must stray

People here too stupid to understand,

My message so deep ‘specially if your name is Rand”

Shell Lack, Shell Whack, Shell Lack, Shell Whack

In 2012 he’s not coming back.

 

Their Star has lost his bright luster

Whose moves for two years were a cluster
O’er Washington press corp came a fear
That it could be the end of One’s career
Shell Lack, Shell Whack, Shell Lack, Shell Whack

In 2012 he’s not coming back.

 

Obamacare may not get enacted  Afgan war is being protracted

The economy has flat lined

The Dollar gone into full decline

No Way, No How, No Way, No How

Hope and change had a cow.

 

 

So let’s with this midterm election,

Give our country some traction

To restore liberty, give freedom new life

Take to the US budget a big- ass knife

Shellack, Shell Whack, Shellack, Shell Whack

Lets Pray , he’s not coming back

And for 2011 see it here:

https://2teaornot2tea.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/the-obama-carols-2011-and-may-it-be-the-last-so-help-us-god/

 

 

 

 

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December 3, 2012. Obamas Carols.

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