Kaptions for a Kardashian and a General

Somehow this seems so possible, General Petreaus and Kim Kardashian hooking up and Kim making small talk.
“Want to join our new reality show, Keeping it up with the Kardashian’s , I mean are you all in or what Davey sweetie?”

“Want to add a little foam to my drinkie poo, General baby?   And maybe stir it, as well, with your special swizel stick?”

“I know what I’d like to have all in me Poopsie Whoopsie?”

“Do you like the smell of silicone in the morning my little warmonger?”

“Hey, if you decide to leave ‘ your old ball and chain’ someday let me know, pumpkin.  I haven’t been married in months.”

“Is that a five star credit card in your pocket or are you just happy to be squeezing me.”


November 18, 2012. Tags: , , , . Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

Shirley you jest: Romney may have been the worst pick among Republican hopefuls

I saw this quote today in an article by Don Eggen of the Washington Post.

Craig Shirley, a Ronald Reagan biographer and adviser to conservative groups, said the comments underscore Romney’s fundamental weakness as a nominee. “Conventional wisdom in Republican circles was that Romney was the best candidate,” he said. “In hindsight, he may have been the worst choice.”
I don’t know that much about Mr. “Don’t call me ” Shirley, but what I have read on his blog I think we might see eye to eye on a number of things.  But that statement above, come on.

Michelle Bachmann, she  would have been destroyed by the Obama machine, she put her foot in her mouth way too often, she was able to be more of media hatred target than Sarah Palin had been, and she  probably  have gotten more Dems to the polls than anyone else.

…but maybe, Herman Cain, his lack of governing experience, though somewhat attractive, would have only added to the shredding  by Obama because of absolutely no foreign policy experience.  Even a disaster of Obama in foreign affairs at least had Osama’s death and 4 years of being commander in chief.  Herman couldn’t have made a national run based on 9 9 9 and God if there is anything worse to a pure Democrat than an evangelical republican, it is a conservative Black successful Republican.  Plus only Dems can be sexual predators ( ie Billy Clinton, Teddy Kennedy) and get the free pass from those free thinking NOW members and MS journalists.

… then of course Newt, who definitely would have done better in the debates but had way too much baggage and negatives to ever be the eventual winner.
… wait there was Tim Pawlenty, that would have taken white bread boring to a whole new level,  it would’ve  made Mitt look like Lindsey Lohan off  her probation and her meds.
…no, then it has to be Ron Paul, oh yes Ron.  Well if Ron could talk coherently, looked not like a cranky old geezer and not be quite as naive and made a better, less extreme cause for not doing nation building he may have been better, but guess what he was all those things and despite a nice cult following of believers/worshippers, but he wouldn’t have won anything but the biggest loser in Presidential races history award.

…. Rick Perry, let me pause for 30 seconds, for me to come up with any reasons he might be better than Romney,  ah… ..give me another few minutes….ah…what was the question?
Which leaves us Rick Santorum, (I don’t think Jon Huntsman deserves any discussion on being a better Republican nominee, though maybe a better Dem nominee would be worth pursing), who did himself in worse than anyone else.  He came across very angry in the primaries, Dems would have ripped him even a bigger ahole for his conservative contraception values, fisting him big time as a woman-hater… you see how well they did that to Romney who rarely pushed social issues.  And he was pegged a loser with getting his ass kicked in his last senate race.
So Mr. Shirley there you go, so you still stick to your statement?  Mr. Romney lost not being the worst nominee,  but because Republicans provided a really shitty choice of nominees.  We needed a Paul Ryan, Bobby Jindal, or Marco Rubio in the race and maybe the timing wasn’t right, but none of the nominees we had this time around really had the full package to take on the One.

When you have a near majority of the population getting some kind of direct or indirect government goodie, when you have a Media that acts as a PR firm for the Democrats, when you have a campaign that never stopped and had much better tools than Romney’s, when you have a freak storm and a freak fat f-word governor who does his best to help Obama at the crucial juncture, when you had a President who hid everything he could until after the election and a myriad of other reasons, then you have reasons for a small but significant lose.  But Romney as the worse nominee, not even close.  And Shirley I don’t jest.

November 17, 2012. Tags: , , . Party Chairman Commentary. Leave a comment.

Pelosi decides to stay on as Minority Truth Stretcher…er Speaker

No big stretch that Nanny State Nan doesn’t want to give up her role as minority house speaker, and when I read that Debbie Weisenheimer Schmidts or is it Wasserman Schultz was a possible prospect, I said maybe old Nan might not be so bad,  at least she sounds and looks insane when she states her endless lies, with Debbie you almost think she is young enough that she might be lucid and not have to be kept away from sharp objects yet…. Here’s  to more unemployment payments making our economy hum… I think there could be alot more people entering Nancy and the Dems economic growth plan in the near future.

November 16, 2012. Tags: , , . Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

What was I thinking, PARTY LIKE IT’S DEC. 21st 2012!!!

Here I was all pissed off about Obama winning another 4 years, what potential troubles lie ahead, having the Dems hold the edge in power, having Speaker of the House Boner ready to cave in on immigration and taxes.  Euro crisis… blah, blah and Blah.  Then I remembered.  The Obamayan Calendar and the end of the world.  Shit get out the credit cards, fire up the bong, tell your boss by your Obama phone to go fuck himself and party like there is no tomorrow…. cause there really may be no tomorrow.  Boy I’m I relieved.

November 9, 2012. Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

SOBamaman finds an answer in his Christie Ball

Well after a really, really and really long hiatus from the 2Tea blog, I have returned to add a new chapter in the struggle for Moderate Earth.  After the monster storm hits the East coastal regions, SOBamaman is given new life to help retain his grip on Moderate Earth for another four years.  His evil alchemist , Lgore, conjurned up a late season Hurricane, named Handy and helped to take the spotlight off SOBamaman’s  foreign debacle and bring the focus back to looking dictator- like.  A surprising pawn in this October surprise is Governer Hissie Christie Dumptie , who’s state of Snookieland took a big fall.  Christie pleaded for help from SOBamaman, who was more than ready to oblige the fat one.  No price is too high for the evil one to crush our surging challenger Prince Biff Charming.  Who knows how this will all play out, but all I know is SOBamaman has at least one Reppacheep governor by the ball.

November 1, 2012. Tags: , , . Party Jokes, Prince Charming in Moderate Earth. Leave a comment.