Take my wife, if you can find her… Vladimir Youngman rules

I have a ready wit. Tell me when you are ready, Comrade… tell me quick.

If I had life to do over again, I be back in USSR… stop me , please.

People tell me I look like a talent scout… for the gulag.

I was so handsome when I was born, the doctor kissed my mother and asked for my autograph.

I give you more rights, fellow citizen, the right to get arrested, right away.

I made a killing in the US stock market. I shot my broker.  He wasn’t very happy , in fact he was Madoff.

I give my  wife something to look forward to — a divorce.

The secret of a happy marriage is to keep it a secret.  Marriage very happy , DA!!

All my wife does is shop – once she was sick for a week, and three countries in European Union  went under.

Aren’t you glad I am back… DA!!


May 9, 2012. Tags: , . Party Jokes.

Leave a Comment

Be the first to comment!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: