Dirty Hillie, Crazy Bernie

In the seventies there was a Peter Fonda, Susan George movie called Crazy Larry, Dirty MaryCrazy Bernie Dirty Hillie, but I thought the idea needed  updated characters.

February 12, 2016. I Approve this message. Leave a comment.

When Obama goes the way of Renee Zellweger

Obama for Don King post don king photo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Renee who seems to gone over a major facial makeover yet denies anything of the sort, seems to foreshadow what may happen with President Obama.  Pictures:  Obama today,  Obama 10 years from now and claims he hasn’t had any facial work.  Afterall, hasn’t Obama always wanted to be King… perhaps not Don King, but King nonetheless.

October 22, 2014. I Approve this message. Leave a comment.

Your Lying lips…and eyes… and

One of the sad headlines from the news this week:

 

Fox poll: 61% thinks Obama lies on important matters

 

 

 

I can not tell a truth… no lie.

Hussein Washington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you like your doctor…

Not a smidgen of scandal…

You didn’t build that…

We will be the most transparent administration in US History…

I didn’t set a red line in Syria…
I pledge to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution…

suckers

April 17, 2014. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

2013 Obama Carol : Obamacare Smells

Obamacare smells

 

 

 

 

 

Obamacare Smells

 (Almost to the tune of Silver Bells)

US healthcare, Lousy Healthcare

Pass the bill to see what a’waits

You knew it

Was too good to be true.

Democrats laughing

President fibbing

Telling lie after lie

From every stump speech he would say:

Like your plan, keep your plan

Redistribution time in the Country

U Ding-a-ling, Don’t know a thing

Soon it will be judgment day                                                         

 

See your premiums soar

Now you know the score

This was always his dream

And Above all the screams you’ll hear:

Like your plan, keep your plan

Redistribution time in the Country

U Ding-a-ling, Don’t know a thing

Soon it will be judgment day  

 

Obama Carol #5

December 6, 2013

Copyright 2013 Larry Donnelly                                                      

December 6, 2013. Obamas Carols, Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

So Schultzie what do you know about…. mmmm say Fast & Furious, Rev Wright, Bill Ayers, Benghazi, IRS scandal, Middle East Diplomacy, Obamacare website issues, NSA wiretapping, what a president does? ….. I didn’t think so.

Sgt. Van Bama Schultz

October 29, 2013. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

VMA stars score new shows of their own.

The never resting 2t2t  Network has learned that Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke,  the soft porn stars of the 2013 VMA  show,  have both been green-lighted to star in their own reality series. 

The Disney XXX channel, a new cable channel coming soon to cable network near you has announced Miley will start in her adult version of her former Disney show Hannah Montana.  Her new show, Handda Jobba will focus on talents Miley shares with her swelling fan base.  Shows on twerking, hand jerking, smerking and lurking and all kinds of intellectual talents of Miley will be on display on upcoming episodes.

Miley or  Handa Jobtana copy

Robin Thicke will star as a roaming gigolo in his series ” My Icky Sticky Dick”.  Robin roams the world unleashing his massive thrusting pulsating oozing Johnson upon former Disney child stars. Most will be female.  At the time of this article, Robin was in negotiations with Hilary Duff  to star in the first episode tentatively titled Duff Diving.   Also rumors  have it Robin will collaborate with Billy Ray Cyrus of  Achy Breaky Heart to score the theme song for the show.

My itcky sticky Thicke copy

August 29, 2013. Tags: , , , , , . Party Jokes, Pop goes the culture. Leave a comment.

A Beltway Hillbilly meets Sheriff Joe and a special inmate

Its been a spell since we last seen our favorite bunch of hillbillies,  The Beltway Hillbillies,  lead by family patriarch Mitch Dumbasset,  his nephew Jonthro Boner the house menace., Granny Annie Coulter the deranged shotgun-packing crazy woman, Kelly Mae Ayotte-Dumbasset, the shapely,  but not seemingly too bright daughter of Mitch, along with their foals in DC,  Scary Drysreid, Nanny Giveaway and Mr. Big among others.  This episode of our favorite DC hayseeds has Jonthro Boner going to Arizona to see if Sheriff Joe will give Jonthro a quick lesson in sheriffing and make Jonthro an authorized lawmen like that of Matt Dillon, Bat Masterson or Barney Fife.

Scene:  Sheriff Joe’s jailhouse in Arizona

Sheriff Joe

Jonthro Boner (JB):  Howdy pardner Joe, it sure is swell you giving me some o’ time to visit your post here on the frontier and giving me some tips on sheriffing.

Sheriff Joe (SJ): Well actually I sent you an email saying I had to cancel, just so busy trying to defeat that darn gang of Ocho.

JB:  Well I don’t like email or any of them modern do-hickey things the kids do.  So here I am, give me some of yo’ bestest tips Big Joe.  Maybe firing some weapons down on the range, near that home on the range, where the buffalo…

SJ:  Cut the crap there Jonthro, before we do anything I gotta ask you what in the name of tarnation you idiots doing in DC?   You gonna let old Beaner Ohbaja pass that Gawd awful immigration deform bill.

Jonthro Boner Cowboy wannabe

JB: Well I ain’t been paying too close attention to that bill, or Benghazi or IRS scandals.  This tan doesn’t come without a cost.  So where is my official HLS badge?

SJ:  Boner, I have just about had it with you RINOs, I ran the Marco Kid out of town just a few weeks back.   And I ain’t Homeland Security you in-bred moron.

JB:  Hey, I just  got some magic mushrooms from Lucky Schroomer and I think my noggin well be better soon after I take of few of those, whoa, can I go in the squad car and make the siren go wu wu!

SJ:  No, Jonthro, though that would be niffy fun. I got a better idea.  I need a guard for our holding cell and that would give you some official lawman creed.   You know mingle with real life prisoners and then maybe I will let you see my silver six shooters.

JB: Oh boy, you are cool dude.

SJ:  The coolest man, so come over here… Hey Carlos take a break from the internet  and meet your new guard, Jonthro Boner.

Carlos Danger (CD):  Boner….what a stupid last name.  Ho ho ho.  What are you the missing link or something Dumthro?

Carlos Danger (Tony de Weiner)

JB:  Please sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me cry like a broken water main.

CD:  Hey no hard feelings, do you like hard feelings by the way.. oh never mind.  Are you hungry Jonny boy?   Wanna bite of my weiner?

JB:  No more of a Possum-ball man myself.  So what you in here for Carlos?

CD:  Busted for impersonating a human…. geez did youse every hear such a thing?   I am all man I can assure you and I got many witnesses who would be more than happy to come forward with photographic evidence.  Pssst, I gotta bust outta here soon, can you be a pal and help me out?

JB:  Well Carlos, I may be a dreamer, but I don’t think I can do something like that and still get my official lawman badge and decoder ring.  Why you need to get out here anyway?

CD:  I gotta catch the 3:10 to Huma.  Get it … my wife’s name is Huma… jeez you are a moron.

JB:  Burp.  Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

July 26, 2013. Tags: , , , , , . Party Jokes, The Beltway Hillbillies, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

I knew it all along, Ernie doing Bert

I guess it’s offiical that Bert and Ernie are a gay couple, I mean if you are on the cover of the New Yorker  it has to be true?   I wrote these lyrics in 2005 more as a slam on Homeland Security but Bert and Ernie being gay got thrown it as well,  so I guess I was ahead of the curve.  Kinda ironic that the song lyrics were about someone trying to avoid marriage as much as possible, but its a very moronic… er .. .ironic world isn’t it?  Doubly ironic that the NSA/Snowden and Gay Marriage are the two biggest topics eight years later…. Nosterdumbass that’s me…. pass me the rubber duckie my conehead buddy… myah.

bert-and-ernie

 

HIGH ALERT

 

I got caught off guard
Happened in my own backyard
My borders were exposed
The lights on, but doors not closed
 
I was only a couple of dates
Just friends, not soul mates
I guess you took it as fate
Dropping a bomb in a moving crate
 
Bridge
It was a simple life
No thoughts of adding a wife
But there you were
Standing at my door
Suitcases in hand
I was done for
 
Chorus
My Homeland
With no Defense
Nothing common
Makes no sense
You got me living
On High Alert
On High Alert, High, High oh High Alert
Ain’t been this shook
Since I learned Ernie was doing Bert
Oh High Alert, High-High-high Alert
Lying low and
Living on High Alert
 
 
Say you want commitment
To me you’re an enemy combatant
Find someone else to terrorize
All I can offer is my goodbyes
 
My shades are drawn
Got cameras sweeping the lawn
I got your phone tapped
I’m safe, still I feel trapped
 
I had a simple life
Now filled with strife
My doors are locked
My driveway blocked
And living on
High Alert
 
Chorus
My Homeland
With no Defense
Nothing common
Makes no sense
You got me living
On High Alert
On High Alert, High, High oh High Alert
Ain’t been this shook
Since I learned Ernie was doing Bert
Oh High Alert, High-High-high Alert
Lying low and
Living on High Alert
 
I’m on my guard
I’m on patrol
Watching my back
Fearing another attack
 
I learned my lesson
Beware of whom you flirt
Next thing you know
You’ll be on high alert
 
Chorus
My Homeland
With no Defense
Nothing common
Makes no sense
You got me living
On High Alert
On High Alert, High, High oh High Alert
Ain’t been this shook
Since I learned Ernie was doing Bert
Oh High Alert, High-High-high Alert
Lying low and
Living on High Alert
  

Copyright 2005 ©  Larry Donnelly

April 2005 Lorenzo Donnelli Musix

July 2, 2013. Tags: . Party Jokes, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Now this took Courage.

Hi there I’m Jason Collins your gay go-to center guy and thanks for the outpouring of support and encouragement for revealing that I am gay in my sexual orientation.  But that was really just part one of my announcement.  I am also into gender neutrality and cross-dressing and so I am changing my professional name to Jalissa Collins and joining the WNBA.  I know you are saying ‘why leave the NBA  Jalissa?‘ and I say have you seen my playing time stats lately girlfriend,  uh-huh.  I been riding the bench like Ice-T use to ride Coco, if you like that kind of sex I mean.  I know that sweetheart David Stern said I have a place somewhere in the NBA, but now David honey, I got to let my inner diva out and ball up  on these pathetic excuses of basketball players.  Watch out Brittney Griner, I am going to be rejecting you like a Donald Trump apprentice.  You’re fired sister or is it mister, who cares we’re all the same, gender neutrality for everyone.

Now my biggest decision is do I go with a Valentino or Oscar de la Renta evening dress?   And do you think my hair color clashes with my bracelet? Decisions, decisions.

Jalissa Collins

May 2, 2013. Tags: , , , . Party Jokes. Leave a comment.

The Marco Kid and the Gang of Ocho

Sheriff Joe out thar in the backcountry of Airerozona, picked up one of them mean hombres from the notorious gang of Ocho.  Senor Markie Rubio aka The Marco Kid was caught wandering in the high desert disorientated and parched.  We  now listen into the law of the Old West Sheriff Joe as he works over the Marco Kid to see what happened to a good guy who has gone south (of the border).The Risko Kid

Sheriff Jose er Joe (SJ):   Well, well if it ain’t  the Marco Kid. All I can say what a shame, I thought you were one of good guys.

The Marko Kid (MK):  No senor, you have it all wrong. I am a bueno hombre.   I love Lucy and America and undocumented peoples of all color, creed and especially those that watch Univision.  By the way senor lawman may I bother you for a sip of some high quality H2O?

SJ:  All in good time Marco, all in good time.  So what is this bill you and your gang is pushing down the equally parched throats of the American people.  Last time I heard you were going to guard the border first,  and now  its all open borders for all.   You remind me of another of your gang.  Senor Juan ‘Gollum ‘ McPrecious or is he going now under the alias Sergeant Farter?  Wily old fox Gollum, he said he would build the fence on our border, but he got distracted when he got reelected some time back.

Dos Amigos Gollum McPrecious and Homer Pile aka Limpy Graham-Cracker

MK:  Si, he likes to hang around with his good buddy Homer Pile  and plot new wars when they are not reforming immigration and leading us in Mexican jazz favorites.  He is also known as Limpy Graham-Cracker.  They didn’t talk to me hardly at all,  don’t seem to like me much;  you know I think they are  having a bromance or something.

SJ:  Who you calling a cracker,  boy?

MK:  Oh no no senor, that Limpy’s last name… Graham-Cracker.

SJ:  I guess we only knew him as Homer, geez what a limp wrist moron,… anyway so tell me Kid who got to you, who messed with your mind?  Must  have been a master of psychology and persuasion.  Listen up thirsty, I want names … and a icy cold bottle of aqua is all yours.

MK:  Really?  Water… por favor senor.

SJ:  I need a name Marko  and it better not be Hey Culligan man. (Sheriff Joe takes a long slug of cold water and lets a refreshing ahhhhhhhhhhh resound when he is finished.)

MK:  You are a hard man Sheriff Joe, and cruel and not really much to look at… (Sheriff Joe backhand slaps Marko’s face at this point) ….

SJ:  You won’t be much to look at either if I don’t get a name, and I mean soon.

MK:  Ok, Okay it’s Luckie Shroomer the Peyote Punk. (Marko starts to sniffle and blurst out)…. Luckie would never let up.  Path to citizenship, dream act, rule of Law is for the little people, bring them out of the shadows,  they do the work gringos won’t, Republicans need a big tent and eat at Taco Bell more often….

Luckie Shroomer The Peyote Punk

SJ: Enough Kid, you’re delirious (Sheriff Joe throws a pitcher of water in Marko’s face).  Deputy get this piece of armadillo scat a bottle of water.  So the Shroomer,…. I feel for you Kid, I really do,  he is a manipulator of the first order.

MK:  Sniff, you don’t the half the story, he would just talk and talk and arm twist and talk, blah blah blah….  I just gave up.  Help me.

SJ:  There, there Marko I think you been hit by heat stroke, dehydration and flashbacks from some bad Shrooms… or Shroomer that is.  Take some time and get some rest and a few weeks with one of our inmate labor crews and you will feel alot less like a RINO than you do now.  And we’ll won’t rest until we catch that evil Luckie and maybe then we can get enough information to go after the ring leader.

MK: Who is that Senor Joe?

SJ:  Beaner Ohbaja… the one born in Kenya and now rules the land with his lawless abandon.  The one who spit in my face and said, Birth certificates, I don’t need no stinking birth certificate.   The one who says he is the one.   He chaps my hide.

Beaner Ohbaja

MK:  Pardon me Joe, this water is great but do you have any chips and salsa?

April 25, 2013. Party Jokes, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

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